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Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

January 11th, 2017 (09:56 pm)

You know you have problems when the project manager is asking if you know what's going on. I don't know if it's just my employer, or if all startups are like this, but damn.

Also, if you follow this journal on LJ, this is the last entry that I will be mirroring to LJ. From now on, new updates will only post to https://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/. This journal will remain up as an archive until our new Russian overlords torch the servers, I guess.

PS: To my assigned FSB or SVR agent: FREE CRIMEA! And tell Putin to put his shirt back on.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/747210.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/747210.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

January 10th, 2017 (09:58 pm)

Ok, going to start trying for a daily post. Not a long one, but at least a few lines.

I am definitely super burned-out on my job, where I'm not getting the resources or support I could use (and neither is anybody else).

I had a new story idea in the shower today, though! Been a while since that happened. And it's a twofer, because it started with a potential title and then I got a fanwork and an original out of it, both with the same opening line. I mean, the fanwork is three lines and maybe a fragment I wrote a few months ago, and the original is just the opening line, but... better than nothing.

Maybe someday I will finish a thing that's not a oneshot.

Maybe someday my writing will be as good as it used to be. God, I'm rusty. Need to read more. Anybody got any book suggestions?

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746880.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746880.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

Festivus

December 25th, 2016 (12:33 am)

Let me take one moment, in the darkness that seems to be closing in, to say:

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.



Bless us all, that as we live
We always comfort and forgive
We have so much that we can share
With those in need we see around us everywhere.

Let us always love each other,
Lead us toward the light.
Let us hear the voice of reason
Singing in the night.
Let us run from anger,
And catch us when we fall.
Teach us in our dreams and please, yes, please
Bless us one and all.


As they keep reminding me at church, "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out."

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746524.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746524.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

December 12th, 2016 (09:47 pm)

Let's see...

I think when I left off, it was October, I was in Chicago, and the Trumpocalypse had not yet come.

I miss October.
I miss the first week of November.
Hell, I miss the whole rest of 2016, and that's something I never thought I would say. Trump being elected is probably the only thing that could possible have happened to make me in less of a hurry to put 2016 behind me. Now I dread what comes next.

On reflection, I don't know how much better it would have been if Hillary had won. Institutionally, I think we would have been better off--there wouldn't be a climate change denier heading for the top office at the EPA, just for example. But the people who voted for Trump would still be there. The neo-nazis and white nationalists would still have been emboldened. It's just that this conflict would have remained smoothed over and hidden just enough for people like me to maybe ignore it a while longer.

Now we have to look it right in the ugly face. It's right out in the open, even here in my little liberal bastion.

I have cried a lot. I cried pretty much the whole day after the election. I cried when someone spray painted "Black lives don't matter and neither do your votes" on a wall in my beloved hometown. I cried when the KKK drove through my boyfriend's town. I have nightmares.

I've done other things, too. I listened in on an emergency State Board of Elections meeting hastily convened on a Sunday afternoon. I submitted public comment to another, to make it clear that the people of the state are watching and paying attention. I signed up for publications and groups that will keep me up to date about various political action items. I went to a Moral Monday rally. I gave money. I subscribed to a newspaper.

None of it has stopped me from being very, very afraid about what's coming next.

It's still better than doing nothing.

For now, life goes on as usual, even with all that. Micro is allowed outside on his own now, with no leash and harness. To show his gratitude, he left a headless, semi-mummified rodent of some variety right outside the kitchen door. I don't want to know what happened to the head, but I'm glad he's enjoying himself. Luna thinks she should be able to go outside whenever she wants, now, too. She speaks about it at great length and volume, but I have not yet given in. She's much more skittish, and also a lot dumber about cars.

Maybe this time next year I'll be writing from Montevideo. Maybe I'll still be here. I just don't know.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746259.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746259.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

October 15th, 2016 (11:08 am)

TMI ahoy!

So we're in Chicago for the weekend. While I was packing to go, I looked at my DivaCup, thought about it, and went, "....nah. Not gonna happen. I won't need that."

Ha.

Ha.

Fucking Ha.

Despite my trusty little implant, I woke up to blood this morning. Luckily, I do keep some supplies in my car at all times. Unluckily, the car is parked two blocks away.

Luckily, our hostess has extra supplies. Now I just have to try to remember how to use a tampon with an applicator, because I haven't used one of these suckers since I was about 13, when I put on my big girl pants and started using applicator-free tampons.

I, a grown-ass woman, even asked google. Wish me luck, people. Also, wish me luck in finding my trusty box of organic cotton applicator-free tampons in the depth of my car, because I miss them already.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746162.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/746162.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

August 30th, 2016 (09:42 pm)

I started an entry about cat litter almost two weeks ago. I still haven't finished it. (I know you guys are absolutely on fire to hear my opinions about cat litter and litter scoops. Don't worry, they're still coming.)

Work has been a long series of manufactured emergencies. Life has, to some extent, been the same. Lots of hard work. So much cleaning. I'm still living in a landscape of boxes that need to be unpacked.

I'm trying to set myself a routine--I wake up in the morning and take care of one chore that needs to be dealt with, plus feeding the cats before I leave. I go to work and deal with the 3 to 7 incredibly urgent issues that just came up (spoiler: they have not actually just come up, but people have just set their underwear on fire about it and can't find the damn water bucket themselves). I take my lunch break to watch silly youtube videos (thank you, Designing Women, I needed that laugh) or read a book so that I can someday stop renewing my library books and actually return them. I come home and try to make sure I do one thing just for Peter. I also try and do one thing just for me. Then, if I still have any energy and will left, I try to get in one other chore.

I spent last weekend cleaning the old house like a demon, because I want my damn deposit back. The landlord hasn't even seen the place yet and is already making threatening noises about not returning all of the security deposit. Charming man. I long to be shed of him forever.

This weekend... I'd like to visit my parents. There's lots of other stuff to do, too, though. Peter is sad that we didn't make it to Emerald Pointe this summer, and this is the last weekend it's open. I'd kind of like to go, but I also hate crowds. I thought he was going to go with Paul a couple of months back, but apparently they never got it together. I'd like to unpack some boxes, and bring in the lamps and shelves sitting in the carport and set them up. If I can find a place to put my bookshelf, I can empty at least two and half boxes right there.

There's a contra dance on Saturday night, and I know I should go to that. I'm out of shape--I haven't danced more than 4 dances in a night in months, and I've skipped too many dances entirely from being tired and out of sorts. Also, my new ("new"--they were only a year or so old) dance shoes fell apart on me at the Shenandoah Shindig back at the beginning of the year, when I danced right through the stitching holding the soles on, and although I've replaced Peter's dance shoes, I still haven't replaced mine. I've been dancing in my old jazz shoes, which are mostly held together with glue and hope at this point in their extremely long life, and which really don't have any padding. (When I say long life, I mean it, by the way--I think my mother bought them for me when I was in 8th grade. Might have been 9th. They were my contra dance shoes for the many, many dances over three years until I got tired of gluing the suede back onto them.) Anyway, my point is that there have been plenty of reasons for not dancing... but I should still get back into the swing of it.

I guess that's the news for now. We trudge on. I adult. I need more joy.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745899.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745899.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

July 29th, 2016 (08:11 am)

Tiny, convenient miracle of the morning:

Just got an appointment reminder from my GP, for next Friday afternoon. I don't need to schedule a special visit to be like "So... I'm tired a lot. Is this just an aging thing?"

I should probably call and see if I'm supposed to be getting blood work done, though.

The other slightly miraculous thing? I've already taken off next Friday (and Thursday, and the following Monday and Tuesday) to deal with moving, so I don't have to deal with any last minute schedule juggling because I forgot about the appointment as soon as I made it last year.


Other good things:
Tea with milk and honey. Toast with butter and strawberry jam. Happy cats.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745572.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745572.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

July 28th, 2016 (10:11 pm)

I don't do frivolous sick days. Yesterday, I called in because I was just so incredibly tired.

I'm going through a bit of a tough time right now, really. My sleep schedule would really like to readjust to staying up late, I think, so I'm not sleeping well. And life is just kind of generally exhausting. I'm tired a lot. Usually it's more of a mental/emotional exhaustion (oh god, I am so tired--living with other people and not having much quiet time or private space is hard, trying to deal with my relationship and my depressed/pained/unhappy partner is *exhausting*), but the past little bit it has also been physical.

I should probably go to the doctor, but the prospect of finding the time for the appointment and actually driving out to Hillsborough for it is also exhausting. I'm pretty much just used right up, and there's nothing left for dealing with anything else.

Peter wants me to go see a therapist. Good idea. Peter wants me to go see one of the two therapists listed as kink-friendly in the area. Neither of them takes my insurance. Big upfront expense, extra stress of having to try and file that shit myself? Thanks, I'll just nope my own way out.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745347.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745347.html#comments.

Sara [userpic]

(no subject)

July 21st, 2016 (08:22 am)

Once again in News Everybody Else Already Knew:
Holy shit, moving is *expensive*, y'all. I'm basically paying triple rent for August, because there's the rent for the old place, the deposit for the new place, and the rent for the new place.

My godawful landlord had damn well better return my deposit on the old place. We're going to leave this shitty house cleaner than we found it, probably. The fact that his deferred maintenance left the place in a state where shit kept breaking while we were here isn't our fault. (See: oh god we're all going to burn in an electrical fire, why is there a pond around the toilet, was that stain on the ceiling there before or is the roof leaking?). Doesn't help that dude lives in NY and is terrible about getting repair people in a timely manner. That toilet leak took like 3 weeks to fix, and then he tried to pin the damage on me for "not informing him sooner". I'm not sure how I was supposed to know that the leak would happen before it started, so... I maybe have given him some very polite and Southern shit for that.

Yeah. Expensive, but probably still worth it to be dealing with a real property management company with experience. Also probably worth it to be able to leave a shitty Yelp review if they suck at this as much as he does.

This entry was originally posted at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745114.html. Please comment there using OpenID. You can read comment count unavailable comments on this entry at http://all-strange-wonders.dreamwidth.org/745114.html#comments.

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